The following entry contains a personal story of suicide, mental health struggles, and the hope found in tackling suicide prevention for farmers and first responders. This topic is included to provide context and shed light on complex human experiences. We understand this content may be difficult for some to read, and your well-being is important.

Our Story:

November 23, 2020.  The day our family’s world as we knew it stood still, held its breath in desperate hope, and crashed in innumerable, sorrowful shards to the ground.  The day by which everything for our family will be divided into before and after.  The day we lost our Dalles.

Dalles was our third son and exemplified the phrase, “born to farm.”  For his sixth birthday, he received some hens, and from that day on, he considered himself a businessman. He graduated from selling eggs to small machinery and was able to purchase his own farm with his hard-earned profits on his 18^th birthday. 

From there, he made it his purpose to expand and grow his operation.  He purchased more land and expanded his hog sector with the addition of a new finishing barn.   In the years of whirlwind advancement, we thought of expansion as growth, stressful as it might be. We did not see, nor did we have the tools to recognize the incremental weight of stress that was bearing down on Dalles’ shoulders; the everyday stress of farming, of being a young farmer, and also the trauma he endured as an active member of our local fire department.  Until our world halted and we lost Dalles to completed suicide.  

Our New Story:

In the wake of losing Dalles our family discovered how many farmers and first responders suffer from unhealthy levels of stress and we wanted to help others life healthy and joy filled lives.

In 2016, Dr. Andrea Jones-Bitton surveyed Canadian farmers and reported the following statistics.

• 57% of Canadian producers report feeling anxious
• 45% of Canadian producers experience high stress
• 35% of Canadian producers suffer from depression

Public Safety Canada reported in the Journal of Community Safety and Well-Being estimated that 

• 70,000 Canadian non-federal tri-services personnel have suffered from PTSD. 

The Canadian Institute for Public Safety Research and Treatments (CIPSRT) 2017 prevalence study, Mental Disorder Symptoms among Public Safety Personnel in Canada found that 

• 44.5% of the 5,813 participants screened positive for one or more symptoms consistent with mental disorders. 

Born out of immense loss, Three Oaks Cabin signifies hope and resilience.  While loss can be painful beyond words, put in the perspective of eternity and ultimate renewal, it can have a place of planting seeds of new life, of courage and anticipation.  And that is the vision of Three Oaks. 

Nestled in a 50-acre woodlot, the three-bedroom log cabin welcomes farmers and first responders; the people who work tirelessly to provide quality food for Canada and the world, and who keep our communities safe. The cabin is also a place of tranquility and rest for those farmers and first responders who are dealing with unhealthy levels of stress and anxiety.  By welcoming all farmers and first responders we desire to honour and thank them for their vital contributions which frequently are made at a tremendous cost to themselves and their families.  

Guests can book the cabin free of charge (other than a minimal booking fee) directly on our website www.threeoakscabin.ca. During their stay, they have access to free mental health supports designed by our partners at the National Farmers Mental Health Alliance.  We are grateful for our partnership with the therapists at NFMHA, as they have lived experience or extensive training in the triumphs and pitfalls that exist for both farmers and first responders.  Three Oaks Cabin also provides free follow-up care for our guests through these therapists.  Trails throughout the woodlot provide an opportunity to spend time outdoors, reaping the benefits of being immersed in nature. 

Life goes through many valleys, and some can be very deep and hard. Likely, you can recall a very painful or challenging season in your life.  At Three Oaks, we desire to provide space and relationships that will come alongside people who are suffering or dealing with difficult situations.  I suppose there is no human who does not have burdens to carry, since we live in a broken world. So, as you read this, please let this also be a reminder that the burdens we carry must periodically be checked.  We are not created to carry an ever-increasing load. Let this also serve as a commitment to each other and from each other to take time to check our backpack of burdens we carry.  The things we stuff in there because they feel too heavy to deal with today, the things we allow to drag along in there because they are too painful to let them surface, and the memories we allow to fester in there because it is easier than working through the emotions associated with them.  Those are not weights that we are meant to carry indefinitely.  In acknowledging our vulnerability and need for community, we do not expose weakness, but rather we strengthen our resilience and our bonds in our relationships. And it is within relationships and community that we have the privilege of serving one another. In support of all farmers and first responders, and all the precious people in our lives, can we today resolve to regularly dump out all the baggage we carry in our virtual backpacks in a safe place, but to do that regularly? 

Our Hope: 

Ultimately, we want to prevent the loss in other families, as well as the tragedy of people serving in our communities living without joy or hope.  So, please talk to each other, ask meaningful questions about each other’s mental well-being, and remind each other and yourself that sometimes the most courageous thing to do is to ask for help.  That profound connection of offering, asking, and receiving support from one another is one of the most beautiful aspects of what makes us human. The more we discuss mental wellness as a regular topic in our conversations, the more we normalize taking care of our mental health, just as we do for our physical health. 

It is our prayer that Three Oaks and its communal effort will always testify of the beauty of relationships and community. Let it always be a reminder of the obligation and God-given privilege of being a “neighbour” to the people in our lives, and let it always be filled with integrity to ourselves, to our families, and to our community.  And let’s continue on this journey together with hope because we don’t stay shattered, with faith because it allows us to move forward, and with love because it is the oil that makes our relationships flourish.  Together – because together is a good place to be.

Welcome to Three Oaks! We warmly invite you to book a stay and enjoy a little rest. 

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Thank you to Diane Bergsma for sharing her family’s story.

To learn more about Three Oaks Cabin and how you can contribute, visit:

Web: www.threeoakscabin.com

Instagram: @3oakscabin

Facebook: Three Oaks Cabin