I didn’t grow up in agriculture. My parents had a more typical schedule and I spent my summer vacation at the community pool. 

When I married into a multi-generational farming family, I stepped into a world that looked very different from the one I knew. Though our everyday lives didn’t look alike, our holiday traditions had much in common.

I asked my husband to tell me everything he remembers about the holiday season from his family growing up. He shared memories of cutting down the Christmas tree in the mountains followed by sledding and a hot dog roast. He spoke about setting up the Christmas village decorations and enjoying his Grandma’s baking. Christmas Eve was spent at church, and the cows needed to be fed in the morning before they could open their presents. 

Now my family didn’t have any livestock to feed obviously. However, my brother and I did have to wait to open our presents until our Papa and a family friend arrived at our house Christmas morning. Those early-morning phone calls to them were often made before the sun came up. Papa was greeted at the door with hugs and encouragement to take his boots off and come into the living room. To tease us, he would take his time and slowly pour a coffee and stir in the cream and sugar before entering the magical room our parents created for us. 

Reflecting on these memories reminds me that while our daily lives may have seemed worlds apart, the essence of the holidays—family, love, and togetherness—was the same. 

It’s funny how joy and grief can coexist in holiday memories. Some of our strongest holiday memories aren’t about the gifts we opened or whether the turkey turned out perfect. They’re about the people we shared the season with—and those who are no longer here to celebrate with us. 

For me, that person was my Papa who I spent my last Christmas with in 2003. 

For my husband, it’s his dad, who passed away in December 2011, just nine days before Christmas. 

Life is different after loss and I think it’s during this time of year we feel those losses in a big way. No matter how much time has passed, we can still hear their laughter or the sound of a spoon tapping the side of the coffee cup. 

I recently came across a post from The Heart of Grief, a grief support community page on Instagram, that said: 

“Holiday grief settles in this time of year. It’s the empty chair at the dinner table, the phone call that never comes, the warmth in their voice that no longer fills the room. It’s the effort to create holiday magic while the light feels so much dimmer.

Grief reshapes traditions, moments, and memories but it also holds a quiet reminder that love endures. For those navigating this season with a heavy heart, you’re not alone.” 

https://www.instagram.com/p/DDPRFbrOtzK

The reminder that “love endures” struck a chord with me. If there’s any group of people who understand endurance, it’s farm families. And there’s comfort in knowing we’re not alone in the grief that sometimes comes with the holiday season. 

Although my husband never met my Papa, and I never met his dad, we honour their memories by sharing stories with each other and our families. We carry forward the traditions they helped create, adapting them to our lives while preserving their spirit. 

Through it all, we hold space for those we’ve lost, cherishing the special times we had while looking forward to the new memories we’ll make. 

As we navigate this holiday season, let’s hold tight to the moments that matter most—whether it’s the laughter of loved ones still with us or the special memories of those who’ve left their mark on our hearts. Traditions may evolve, and the people around our tables may change, but the spirit of love and togetherness remains. 

For farm families and non-farm families alike, the holidays are a time to honour the past, embrace the present, and look forward to the future. May we all find comfort in the shared experiences of joy, grief, and everything in between—and may the season remind us that, no matter where we come from, we are never truly alone. 

Wishing you warmth, peace, and love this holiday season.

Katelyn Duban
www.wildrosefarmer.com
Instagram: @katelynduban, @theruralwomanpodcast

Katelyn Duban, originally hailing from Southern Alberta, Canada, is breaking ground as a first-generation farmer within her multi-generational family farm. Initially, she hadn’t planned to take an active role in farming, but fate had other ideas, igniting within her a deep-seated passion for farm life. Today Katelyn, alongside her husband, dedicates herself to cultivating her skills as a grain farmer, both in the fields and beyond, contributing to the legacy of her family’s agricultural heritage.

A passionate podcast enthusiast, Katelyn sought out content celebrating the significant contributions of women in agriculture but found a gap in the market. Undeterred, she took matters into her own hands and embarked on creating her own podcast. In the spring of 2019, she proudly launched The Rural Woman PodcastTM.

Since its inception, Katelyn has been dedicated to amplifying the stories of remarkable women across various agricultural domains, including farming, ranching, homesteading, agribusiness, and beyond. With nearly one million downloads spanning countries worldwide, she continues to advocate for the vital role of women in agriculture. Additionally, Katelyn shares her personal journey and insights through social media where she has proudly built an inclusive community for women in the agriculture industry.